I am so thrilled. Leah smiled up at me – her first real smile – not the kind that meant she had gas – a real SMILE! To me that smile said, “Mom, I love you.” It more than made up for my tiredness and all the night feedings and the crying. I picked Leah up, hugged her, kissed her and told her, “I love you, too.” What a beautiful mental snapshot I will keep forever.
The next picture is at the change table. I am so sick of changing dirty diapers. – How can such a tiny and sweet baby have so many? But then the YUCK changed to joy. I tickled Leah’s cute little tummy as always when I changed her diaper. I heard the most awesome and melodic giggle – her first giggle. That made me giggle, too. We are both enjoying this diaper change now.
How can I forget the first time that Leah reached out to touch my face with her soft chubby fingers? She smiled her angelic smile and again I knew she was saying, “I love you. I know who you are. You are MY MOM.”
It was early morning. As I laid in bed I could hear Leah cooing and babbling. I waited a few minutes just enjoying the sounds. Then when I went to pick her up SHE WAS SITTING UP IN HER CRIB – all by herself. I was so proud of her great accomplishment. My little baby was growing and changing so fast.
My next mental snapshot…. I was sitting in the rocking chair at 3 AM trying to comfort my feverish baby. I was filled with fear. I just wanted her to be well and get over her ear infection. Being a mom can be so stressful. We rocked and I sang lullabies until she fell asleep finally. I didn’t want to put her down feeling such protectiveness and closeness to her. I just wanted to hold her and comfort her forever and rejoice in being her mom.
I next picture… Leah wearing my favorite pink I LOVE YOU, MOM bib. She was sitting in her highchair saying, “Mamamamama.” She picked up one of her Cheerios and tried to put it in my mouth. She is sharing with me!
Her first birthday! A year of snapshots of smiles, tears, books read, spaghetti faces, never ending diaper changes, teething. My baby was standing about two feet in front of me smiling up at me in her pink princess birthday dress. And then she did it. She took her first two steps toward arms outreached for a hug.
Abruptly my alarm clock rang. I sat up smiling at the memory of such a beautiful and realistic dream. I reached over to my night stand to check the day’s schedule. I felt a horrible pain stab my heart. On today’s date was written:
Dr. Jones
Abortion
11:15 AM
If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy, you may have very conflicted feelings. Please don’t go through this alone. If you live in Shelby County, Ohio, Women’s Center-Sidney is here for
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